Duty above all
by Divinity-fan
Summary: Was it her duty to bring some sense back into him? Could she? Sasuke has slipped through his friends' and family's fingers. He had pushed them away one by one -even her… so she wondered what she was doing there alone with him in that shadowy small room.


Duty above all

Was it her duty to bring some sense back into him? Could she? Sasuke has slipped through his friends' and family's fingers. He had pushed them away one by one -even her… so she wondered what she was doing there alone with him in that shadowy small room.

She would have laughed if she had the heart to.

Today was Ino's birthday. The girl was the typical bubbly blond girl who radiated with joy and happiness. No missions as ninja or hardships seemed to chip away her sunny smile or her mischievous character. Rather it has reinforced that side of hers, especially after she's seen a close friend almost die before her. That's why she was so popular among the ninja population, and even amongst civilian.

She knew how to be the pleasant meek girl, and fun hard partygoer when needed.

So, the moment Ino told Hinata's stern father that they would drink tea and discuss just among girls, Hinata almost scoffed. Ino didn't even flinch. No one would've believed Hinata had she called Ino out.

Yet there they were: the beer was moving around, the music was blaring and sweaty bodies were sliding against one another. Yeah, she was definitely not drinking tea. The thought made her smile…

Until her eyes fell on him.

He wasn't looking back.

In fact, she was totally invisible to him.

She didn't like how her heart reacted. It felt too implicated.

"Hey, you look at Sasuke-kun?"

The heavy weight that suddenly landed on her shoulder scared her. She tore her eyes from the dark haired young man to look at her left: pink soft hair met her gaze.

"Ah, Sakura-Chan… Not really" she muttered, even though the music was blaring.

Sakura had asked a simple question. She just had to give a simple little answer. Yet a lie escaped her lips as if breathing. It was so natural… it was so vicious and shameful for someone with her education. She had lied about watching him.

Hinata had been watching him the moment he entered the party and he had been ignoring her. That's the truth.

"Really? Well" Sakura said then sighed "I've tried you know? I've tried to help him but he just keeps… how can I put that…?" Sakura screamed over the music.

"Destroying his life?" Hinata said a bit louder.

Sakura laughed "that's too much. Maaan, Hyuga certainly don't know what having fun mean!"

Hinata turned to her side once again and met unfocused green eyes. On closer inspection, she realized that her companion of the night had red puffy eyes. She bit her lips, feeling guilty for being so engrossed in her own head.

"Are you alright Sakura-Chan?"

"What is the problem if Sasuke decided to have fun? I heard that ménage-à-trois was a lot of fun"

"You should put that cup aside"

"Look at you! Look at me! We're here like moping clouds of desolation, bad-mouthing his life's style while he's having fun" Sakura slurred a bit "maybe he's the one who's right."

"Sakura-Chan…"

"He used to be a moping grey cloud too; but since he learned to have some fun with his fangirls, he's cooler, right Hina-Chan?" Sakura chuckled "maybe we could get over ourselves if we tried"

"Sakura-Chan… you're babbling now"

"Whaaat? Oops. Sorry, I forgot that since you're seven, you lost that right. You'd better stay a virgin or the Hyuga won't be happyyyy"

"Sakura-Chan!"

She didn't want to hear any more of that. Sakura's words seemed to be true. Sasuke was just partying like anyone else. He was making out with two girls at the same time, but still, what had she to do with anything? She had enough 'rights' to worry about him and try to reason with him, but not enough to have any says in his choices.

The only persons that had a say was either his actual family or his girlfriend. She could be by some extend family, but it wasn't the case yet… even then, it still didn't mean anything. She was nothing to him, yet that feeling was unmistakable… It had gnawed at her guts for too many a year to create confusion, and she certainly didn't want Sakura to poke around and expose her ugly feelings.

Honor before all.

Hinata heaved Sakura and put her right arm around her neck. She dragged her outside. The drunken girl looked out of it until Hinata brought her some medicine made by the same girl.

It was as disgusting as it was efficient.

"Gah! I can't believe I made this"

"You sure did" Hinata said as she proceeded to sit beside the pinkette "is it better now?"

"Yeah, thanks… sorry for the comment. It was uncalled for"

"I-it's okay." Hinata flushed a deep red "you weren't you… if there's anything I can-"

"I love him so much… It's driving me crazy" Sakura confessed with teary eyes "I've never drunk this much"

"I know that feeling" Hinata said with a grimace "sometimes it isn't the purest of feeling"

Sakura chuckled "he told me that love doesn't justify anything… It isn't enough that I love him or that he potentially loves me… tsk"

A sob escaped the pinkette.

"Sakura-Chan…" Hinata whispered as she reached for her friend.

"No." A sob escaped her tight throat again. "It's okay. Don't pity me over a pathetic heartbreak."

"I know Sasuke-kun isn't easy to fall in love for-"

"Sasuke?"

Sakura instantly laughed so loud, over and over; as if Hinata had told her the world's best joke. Hinata was confused as the laugh kept going on and on, getting some attention from people not far from them.

The sweet and contagious laugh looked genuine until Hinata realized it never reached those crystal-green eyes. It was one of hysteria. Soon enough the dark haired young woman followed suit.

"I don't know why you're laughing… but it was contagious"

"It's just… no, never mind." Sakura smiled, then said "Sasuke is a closed chapter now. No indeed, it's a bad idea to fall for him, but now I know there're even worse love stories"

Hinata listened in silence. There was no beginning or end to the story Sakura was telling, just the middle and little to no information about facts. Maybe it was another hot boy that had an unorthodox lifestyle; maybe it was a story even more shameful than hers. There weren't enough pieces to the puzzle, but there's enough for Hinata not to question the girl further.

She didn't want to talk about her lover. Hinata would respect that.

"I'm torn you know? On one side he's completely and utterly out of limits… I shouldn't even glance his way… on the other side…"

"Your feelings… are too strong?"

"It's more than that… as ninjas we're just tools that are risking our lives every second. I accepted to sacrifice everything like my parents before me, but…" Sakura sighed "Love is the last piece of us and we've got to sacrifice even that?"

It stroked a sensitive cord inside Hinata. Why should they all get sacrificed? Weren't they sacrificing enough by going on those perilous missions? Wasn't it enough that since they are sixteen they danced with death in the name of the village?

For someone like her, this wasn't even a question. Sure, the village wasn't her first priority - her clan was. She had to and did surrender her all to their cause, their plans and their future. Her duty was to preserve her clan's honor and prosperity. Her existence was skewed around and inside that. Nothing else.

No, she wasn't like Sakura.

Hinata chuckled.

"Okay, I've humiliated myself enough. I'd better go home"

"Are you sure you're fine? I can accompany you"

"I'm fine, I'm fine."

"What about Kakashi-sensei? He might be mad at you? Ino had to come up with a lot of… excuses to get this party"

"Kakashi…" Sakura chuckled "he'd be more than happy if I got there drunk with a man at my side. So don't worry"

Hinata was too shocked by her words and the familiarity in her tone. Sakura had always been the polite girl who used suffixes with everyone expect Naruto… then Hinata remembered that she wasn't quite herself.

"I still insist on-"

"I'll go with her"

Both girls turned around to meet dark cold eyes. Hinata stiffened on instinct. She looked back at Sakura, then back again at the newcomer. Despite being aware of the growing friendship between them, Sakura was still a slightly drunken girl and he was a boy. It wasn't like it was Naruto or…

Thinking about _his_ name, she flinched.

"Hey, I mean no harm Hinata-kun. I just wanna help"

"Yeah, but-"

"It's okay Hinata-chan. I'll go with Sai-kun-" she paused at Hinata's facial expression "it's okay Hinata-chan. He won't bite me. Besides, he think I look like a dog, so he won't kiss me either"

Sakura laughed and shrugged. Sai gave them his usual pleasant but fake smile. Hinata was confused. That the pink-haired girl was so keen on having Sai give her company surprised her –after all, the girl's best friend had been interested in him for some time. Besides, they started on rocky grounds. Yet Sakura seemed at ease.

Hinata hesitated. She was ready to call Naruto when Sakura snagged a big chunk of a nearby tree and crumbled it as if it was bread.

"If he ever tries anything, he'll end like this. So stop worrying Hina-Chan"

Sakura smiled and kissed the girl's cheek.

"We'd better start moving Sai-kun"

"Yeah, I'm coming" he said with an agreeable voice.

As he walked toward Hinata, he stopped beside her, landed her hand on her shoulder and leaned over to reach her left ear "if you don't hurry up, Sasuke might go down those girls in… fifteen minutes"

Hinata shivered "S-so what? He's a-a big boy. He… can do whatever he-"

"So that's what you tell yourself at night?"

Hinata pushed his hand away. She glared at him so hard her eyes felt on fire along her whole body. His suspicion, her anger, her fear, her reality… everything melted into one and turned her body into a shaky container waiting to explode.

This was the second time she acted so differently than a Hyuga.

Her father raised her to stay cold-blooded even in face of death.

Here she was, getting flustered over something trivial… or was it?

"What are you implying?"

"He is the brother of your fiancé. His behavior affects his clan's image and it indirectly affects your clan's." Sai said as if he had a perfect knowledge of both clans' business. Funny enough, it managed to soothe Hinata "It's your duty to watch over him in a sense too, isn't it?"

"Yes- I mean, no. No, I-"

"Go to the second floor. Once there, take the first door at your left. You can thank me later".

"Hey, I'm tired. If you wanna stay, I can go alone. Just know that she's got a fiancé who can kick your butt in no time" Sakura screamed, as she moved backward.

"What would I thank you for?"

"Don't mind Sakura…"

"Sai-Kun, what would I thank you for?" Hinata hissed, as she grabbed his forearm.

Sai sighed. "I'm helping you defend your clan's honor. Isn't that a duty of yours? Isn't that why you marry him?"

"I like Itachi-san!" Hinata quickly said with a grimace and a frown. She didn't like where their conversation's going. "I like him. I'm going to join Sasuke-kun but it's just to stop him. That's all there is."

"We all know that it's just a political marriage. Itachi was never around unlike Sasuke. It's okay if you've got feelings for the younger bro-"

"Stop it" Hinata hissed "I'm going to fetch Sasuke-kun and bring him back to the Uchiha compound. You go find Sakura-Chan"

"Of course. Our _duty_ calls us"

"Yes, _my_ duty calls me"

Was it to prove something to Sai?

Was it to prove it to herself?

She kept mulling over their discussion over and over. He had said such things she'd felt insulted. In which ways, she couldn't tell, but there was no way he could've insulted her any more. She cared for both brothers, and she was going to marry the big brother.

That's her duty.

Now, her duty was to preserve their clans from shame…

Her duty was to bring Sasuke back to his senses.

With iron will, she opened the doors from where escaped moans. She prepared herself for the worse, but it wasn't that bad. Both girls were already naked, their bodies betraying the excitement in which they were already basking – goosebumps and perky breasts. Along their inner thighs slid the juices of their pleasure.

The moment her eyes landed on him, his eyes shot open. His eyes were obviously clouded with pleasure, but he didn't feel ashamed of her presence. The girls kept moaning and kissing his skin while his eyes pierced through hers.

The shame of walking in on such a scene burned her skin, but the need to stop him from going any further with those girls was too strong to ignore.

"Sasuke… kun" she said loud enough to get the girls' attention.

"Oh, if it isn't the famous Hyuga" the red-head said with a sloppy smirk. "Wanna join?" she added after some seconds went by.

"What are you saying Akane! You're probably talking to our future sister-in-law"

Both girls laughed, as Sasuke didn't even flinch. Hinata thought she'd die. It took her an incredible amount of self-control and courage to utter her next words:

"We've to talk"

"Hey, can't you see that we're busy knuckle-head?"

Akane emphasized her words by waving Sasuke's dick. Hinata blushed and quickly looked away without any second thoughts. After going so far, her stubbornness was the sole anchor she had left.

She didn't bulge.

"Gosh, hey honey can't you-"

"We're done for tonight"

Sasuke's calm words heaved a huge weight from Hinata's shoulders but outraged the two horny girls. After tons and tons of complain, they still got dressed and asked promises from Sasuke. He made none, much to their disappointment.

After that intimate sight she got of Sasuke she hadn't found the courage to face him just yet. She waited, heard every lustful word and every sound of clothes sliding against one another. It seemed endless, until she got bumped into the shoulder twice and hard enough for her to move away from her previous spot.

Hinata looked at the girl with shock written all over her face. One stopped.

"You think you're better than us because you're a Hyuga? Or because you're gonna marry in the Uchiha clan? With Itachi of all people" Akane sneered "it's amusing to see such a high eminence in such a party. I'll make sure to remember it"

"Is that a threat?" Hinata asked as calmly as possible.

"Threat? Are you afraid I'll spill the beans to Neji? Or your father... or maybe your fiancé?" the red-head pretended to think over it "do I have a reason to?"

"I-I just wanted to talk to Sasuke-Kun-"

"Or have him for yourself. Have fun with him. We certainly prepared him for you" Akane said as she moved away with her green-haired friend.

If Hinata ever replied, it'd have gotten unwanted attention. Maybe it was too late. Sai, now that Akane girl and her friend… she doubted about her presence. She was scared, scared enough to come back to her senses for the time being.

Was it her duty though? To bring some sense back into him? Could she? Sasuke has slipped through his friends' and family's fingers. He had pushed them away one by one -even her… so she wondered what she was doing there alone with him in that shadowy small room.

Yet when their eyes met, she entered the room and closed the door silently behind her.

"Did you hear that?"

Sasuke didn't answer. He just shrugged.

"They threatened us"

"No, just you"

"They'll badmouth you, and me and –and our families"

"It's not like I care. At worse, I'll get nasty eyes from both sides. Nothing new"

"Well, you should care. If not about your reputation or anything, at least for-"

"Not again"

"Yes"

"Did you go through all this pain and catfight to tell me about this old broken record?"

"Sasuke, this" she made a vague large gesture "this isn't normal."

"What's normal, eh?" Sasuke sat forward with both hands crossed between his thighs "having a fiancé at seven?"

Hinata breathed hard. She had to expect it though. He's always been blunt. Apparently it was getting worse over time.

"Why are you looking at me like I insulted you?"

"Why did you bring something personal into this discussion?"

"If I'm wrong that means you're right isn't it? That means everyone from the Uchiha clan is right isn't it?"

"This marriage is for the greater good"

"You're marrying a man you don't even love." Sasuke hissed, his eyes glinting under the moon. "you can't really judge me"

The guilt and shame stabbed right through her again.

"I li-love Itachi-san"

"Answer came too late. Try again"

"I-it still has nothing to do with anything. Look, at your life! You live in excess. That shows how much you aren't doing well. You're hiding your sadness behind alcohol and women."

He glared.

She moved forward until she was a foot away.

"You need help"

That was the last drop for him. Sasuke swiftly got up, scaring her in the process. She backed away but soon realized that for every step she took back, he moved at the same pace toward her.

His glare turned her back into a small kid that had no power against an adult –it burned its way through her skin. Soon enough, her whole body felt restless.

Unable to meet his gaze, her eyes slide to his lips. When fear clawed her back even more harshly, she lowered her gaze to his torso that dimly glowed under the moonlight.

A small voice begged her to get out of the room at that moment.

She resisted the voice.

When her back hit a wall, she closed her eyes…

"I need help?"

… And felt his breath fan her face as his frustration rolled away from his body to penetrate hers.

"Let's say I need help. So what? What has my so-called coping mechanisms to do with you? I've never questioned yours after all"

"Wh-what are y-you talking about?" she asked, but never met his eyes.

"You've stalked Naruto for three years. Daydreamed and obsessed over him. I knew you fantasized about that loser who was just like you but never gave up"

Hinata's head snapped up. She finally looked into his eyes. There's nothing inside them but anger. They were endless pool of darkness and scorn. That's what she as seeing; that's what his words made her feel.

"That's what you thought of me… That I was a loser…"

She remembered Sakura's words. The girl has been right –she knew it. She even wanted to laugh at her own expense but the noise was stuck in her throat. If anything tried to escape her, it'd turn into tears.

Sasuke was the last person on this earth she could cry in front of, not after this revelation.

"That's how you saw yourself"

"What about you? You didn't answer the question"

"You never asked"

"Was I a loser to you?" Hinata hissed. She couldn't scream. Not yet. Not tonight. Maybe never.

Maybe this was the end.

Sasuke removed his hand that trapped her against the wall and moved back.

"You weren't particularly strong… you could've trained. Instead, you kept following a boy who had the hots for someone else"

"All this time you were faking to be a friend. You could at least have the decency to come clean"

"Why? It's your life. It's your choice. Now it's my turn to have my fun, yet you wanna cockblock me. In the name of what?"

"You don't even care about your father? Your mother?"

"I do care. I'm a ninja. I've decided to sacrifice my life like our great ancestors. Should I sacrifice my personal life too?" Sasuke deadpanned "I ain't the virginal goat who gets to be sacrificed"

"Come clean for on-"

Sasuke put this time both hands at either side of her head. She was fully trapped, yet she wasn't looking away. There's an edge in her gaze her whole body was aware of. She knew she shouldn't look so straight into his eyes in such a small place, in such a dark room, in such a tensed state… it felt like a challenge. Hinata knew he liked challenges.

Or maybe it was something else? A lot of maybes and what-ifs swirled into her head, as much as did her anticipation and confusion. What had she expected when she walked upon his naked self? His closest friends couldn't help. His parents couldn't, neither did Itachi that he had adored so much until he reached twelve.

Maybe he was a lost cause?

Or maybe he wasn't?

Sasuke and Sakura seemed to be right.

"I'm not you. I wouldn't have sacrificed my freedom for shit. We're in a village. It's useless _and_ silly to marry to create an alliance that already exists."

His friends weren't against it –Sakura thought he was just a playboy who couldn't settle down; Naruto thought Sasuke was just having fun. Kakashi-sensei thought that was the way to take advantage of good looks and youth. His father had let go long ago, and his mother simply wanted him to settle. His big brother didn't care as long as Sasuke was healthy.

Those were the most important people in his life. So, Hinata felt stupid and guilty. Apparently he didn't think high of her either. Apparently, he never had.

She lowered her head again.

What a sad conclusion, she thought.

"Did the cat get your tongue or what?"

"No… I… Are you happy? Is this what you've always wanted? To have that kind of freedom?"

"We're no kids anymore. Dreams barely have the right to exist in this new reality…"

"I'm sorry to have wasted your time. I'm sure you've got better things to do" Hinata whispered.

Her eyes were already wet. Time's running out; her tears were scraping the back of her eyes, begging for their freedom. Yet, his arms weren't moving away. Yet, she didn't push them away.

If she moved one inch too much, she'd break down.

"You've always been like this… so weak. You'd never say what you think… or when you felt hurt by someone's acts or words…" Sasuke whispered, his breath caressing her right ear "look at me"

Hinata bit her lips. She was going to break down. The feeling was overwhelming… so she fought. She pushed back; hit his chest with pathetic punches. Her fits landed over, and over, and over…

Until she broke down.

Until anger rose in her chest.

"What do you want? Eh, Sasuke-kun? I know I'm weak. I'm a pathetic loser! I can only be sacrificed to be useful! I've always been like this! Now let me go!"

She fought, hit and kicked. It went on and on. He had expected her to calm down but she didn't until he got tired. So, he flushed his body to hers, grabbed her hair, intertwined his fingers into her long midnight strands and turned her face toward his.

Hinata tried again, but her hits were rendered futile as that of a child. There wasn't much she could do.

"I'm sorry"

"You say what you thought about me"

"Yeah, but that's a closed chapter of your life. There's a difference between that eleven year old naïve idiot and this seventeenth joinin getting ready to get into anbu. So, don't play the victim" Sasuke said as he stared at her mouth.

"Maybe you should take some of your advice" Hinata whispered.

Sasuke's eyes moved back to her eyes, letting go of his vice-like grip in her hair "oh yeah?"

"I know why you do this, and… your friends love you. Your family does too… I love you too. So, why do you feel this… need to go around?"

"What if I know this? What if it's just for fun and you're wrong?"

Hinata chuckled "I've been in your shoes. Excess is a coping mechanism for _you_ "

"Would you be happy if I get a girlfriend then?"

"I'll be happy when you try and reconnect with everyone around you…"

"I get it" Sasuke muttered.

He lowered his face until his lips landed on her jaw. Her whole body trembled from that contact alone. At that moment she knew she had waited for it for far too long.

Sasuke left another open kiss under her jaw, on her neck, on the valley of her breast… and he bit her shoulder lightly. He lifted her up until she sat on the table next them. It was high enough for them to kiss properly, with their bodies so close not even a hair could come in between.

When their lower parts met, both gasped. She felt it; she felt him hard and uncompromisingly ready. He wanted her just as she wanted him. The thought was enough for her to rub against his erection until he lost his cool and control.

"Maybe I should try to reconnect with you first"


End file.
